Prejudices and wrong kind of attitude.

Some time ago I met a friend, really special one. The more I got to know him the more I realized how blind I have been. He kinda opened my eyes to see things differently. I judge everything even thought I dont even know how things really are. Prejudices tho.

I have never thought anything good about Muslims. Only thoughts I had was they treat women really badly, they are violent and terrorists. Sounds sick. Doesnt it. Its just things that media and different stories have made us to believe. I have never thought about it myself. The women use the thing around of their head cos they want to. Its not cos of the men say how much you have to hide you head. Its like I can not wear really little clothes cos I feel it really weird and not so comfortable. I think thats cos of my parents really didnt let us to use clothes like that. I am really happy for that. There is so many things in Islam and in the religion I used to be in. They are so very similar.

Princesses and princes. I always thought British young people are rude and selfish. It is kinda true but its just one side of the things and not their own fault tho. Thats another thing I realized. Its about the culture. It has made them to be what they are. The girls live as they are princesses in their pink pretty castles. Everything comes for them, the world was made only for them. Drinking, partying, sex, teen mums, etc. The less you have clothes the prettier you are. Everything has to look and seem good doesnt matter what is behind the scenes. For me its very weird. Ofc cos I come from different place, and we have own culture there, I have used to respect different things. There is ofc good things in them as well. The thingy I missed most about England was the positive people that you really cant see in Finland.  I am sure I am gonna miss that again once I leave England. The people in my town always say "Hi!" or " Good morning!" even thought you have never met them before. But if you say that to someone in Finland they are going to think something like "Oh my God! He is going to do something to me!". So dont even try that in Finland, you might get a hit or at least that weird look. If you had a dream you wanted they kind of made you to go for it and believe in you. Thats what you cant find in Finland really. If something bad happens to someone some English people are very helpful and they want to support. In Finland people are more privaty I guess. I still love England, but it might be time for something else.

Just to say these was my thoughts again. Things might be different really, but thats how I see them at the moment.

Vähiin käy aupairelämä aika ennen kun loppuu. Suunnitelmat on vieläkin ihan auki. Perjantaina työhaastattelu vanhainkodissa täällä, joten wish me luck! Josko ne suunnitelmat siitä selviää, vaikka niin toivottomalta se joskus pukkaa tuntumaan. Yrittää vaan uskoo siihen, että everything happens for reason. On sen tyyppinen ihminen, et kaikki pitäs olla valmiiks sunniteltuna jo hyvis ajoissa. Eipä auta kun chill ja odotella. Ristiriitaset tunteet joulun odottamisesta. Toisaalta odottaa hulluna joulua ja porukoiden näkemistä. Mutta yhtä aikaa yrittää nauttia viimesistä viikoista täällä ja näistä ihmisistä. On tosi vaikee, kun stressaa ihan hulluna mitä tapahtuu tammikuussa vai tapahtuuko mitään ja missä mä oon ja mitä tekemässä vai oonko missään ja mitään tekemässä. Joskus ois kiva jos joku vaan sanelis mitä tehä ja minä tekisin, mutta eipä siitä mitään tulis kun oon jo valmiiks niin kapinamielinen jääräpää. Joulunaika on ihan parasta täällä. Valoja ja ihmiset jouluostoksilla. Rakastan sitä. Mulla ei valitettavasti oo tän yhen kuvan lisäks muita, mutta koitan raahata tuon tonnikeijun mukanani joskus ja koittaa saada pari onnistunutta otosta näistä jouluhommeleista täällä. Hyvää joulun odotusta teille ja kuunnelkaa vaan niitä joululauluja jo, et mäkin voin kuunnella.

PS. If you dont have lots to do listen to that song and enjoy!

Life changes. People change.

Time really flies. Its Sunday again. On Monday I went to shopping with Vicks, she is the mother of this family. And I got a silly idea to dye my white eyebrows and lashes. When I saw my face in the mirror I wanted to cry, I looked like a clown. If u dont know how a clown looks like u can google it. When I got home I tried to wash them off, but ofc it didnt go. But on Wednesday I got new hair color as well. And i fell in love with my clown eyelashes and brows. So it was not so silly idea anymore. I had never died my hair before. 21 years with really blonde hair. So it was a big change. But I love these so much. I have heard very different comments about them. I dont really mind if someone doesnt like it cos I do like them a lot! It was a shock for many ppl. I think I look prettier and more girly, not as a tomboy that I was. Now I can wear more girly clothes, I am so happy for that! And now nobody comes to ask me why all of my hair is white.

Old look and new look.. 

I had such a nice weekend. On Friday I talked with my dad first time after I told them about my decision. And I feel much better now and so much happier. Heini, my au pair friend came around. I like her so much, I havent known her for long. But she is that kinda person u know u click with her. I got another friend from Finland to visit and ofc some finnish sweets and chocolate. Yum! 

On Saturday we all went to London to see Camden Town and some tourist stuff, as Tower Bridge etc. And we met Warwick Davis!! He acted Filius Flitwick in Harry Potter movies. He was sooo sweet and cute! Even thought he is different than most of ppl he looked so happy. Respect! Actually I didnt recognize him but when we got home we realized it was him. Heini came to sleep over as well. We all three slept in my bed, and that was not so great idea. Almost all night we just laughed and when we went out we were as three Angry birds. But anyway it was pretty fun tho. I havent laughed that much for ages. The more u laugh the longer u live, if that is true I am gonna live forever. 

I just got home. We were in Stratford for some shopping. Shopping in high heels is killing. I dont recommend to try that. I love autumn so much.

my apologize.

I apologize I havent post anything for a while. I would give u an excuse but I dont really have one. I dont even have any pics. Things r pretty well here tho. I have been thinking about life for pretty long time and finally I was brave and made a decision. I dont say Im really proud of the decision I made. But I can say Im really proud cos I still made it. Its not easy to leave behind the most important thing of ur life. I feel so much more free and comfortable about that cos dont need to live in lies anymore, and hide anything. Now I can be me and be honest for myself and other ppl. I made so many ppl sad and I am really sorry for that but I still think we all r here just for ourselves. We dont live for anyone else.

In last couple weeks here has happened quite strange things. Not things, a thing I mean. So many ppl here have asked me how old I am, do I go to college, can they see my ID. Its really confusing, and when I tell them I am 21 they r like oh r u sure.. Oh man ofc I am sure I was born on the 18th of July 21 years ago. They think I am 16. Maybe cos I dont really wear make up, and some ppl think being blonde is kinda innocent. But anyway that kinda make me such happy, better to look 16 than to be 21 and look like 50.

I got amazing plans for the weekend btw. I am going to see my friend up to Leeds. I have never been there before, its one of the biggest cities of England. And I heard its much better and different than London. So I am really curious to see what it is like.

Today happened more strange things. I was doing something I dont really do alot. I was surfing on Youtube and found myself watching the videos of two such cute british guys. They r twins. I have never been a fan of anyone, yeah i know its really boring. And Tadambadaa I became a fan of them! It happened really quickly tho. In the morning I had no clue who they r.. U guys have to check them out! They r JacksGap, Jack and Finn Harris.

I promise I try to post more

E xx

a cup of tea.

Suomesta kotiouduttu taas takas tänne Britteihin, tosi hyvillä fiiliksillä. Oli kiva käydä Suomessa vaikka sen aikana kerkes tapahtumaan vaikka ja mitä. Kaiken näkösiä ja kokosia ajatuksia pyörii päässä. Monta asiaa tekisin erilailla, jos saisin muutamamia viikkoja mennä taaksepäin. Elämä jatkuu, kohti uusia jutskia. Kerkesin jopa tehdä oikeita töitä ja saada vähän massii. Shoppailureissuja taas suunnitteilla. Mä oon synty tuhlaamaan. Onkohan meitä muita saman tarkotuksen saaneita. Mukava oli tulla takasin kun oli odotettu. Tää oli nyt tämmönen lyhyt postaus, kirjottelen lisää kun saan oikeen fiiliksen ja vähän matskuu sille. Pari seuraavaa päivää vietänkin visusti koneella CV:tä tehden, kämppää ja töitä etsien. Good luck for me!

Ciao! x

I was just trying to find my place in this world. and I think I finally found it.

The longer I stay here the more sure I am about where I wanna be. Ppl keep asking and wondering why I dont wanna stay here, do I have a guy over there, better money or trying to forget some not so good memories. Its nothing like that. But I didnt find a good answer yet. I love my life in England so why I should stay in Finland. I feel like I can live my own life over there, do things that I like and be me. I still have my freedom so why shall I live not using it. I dont think the place u was born is the place for u. Ofc it might be but anyway I think wherever u r happy however u wanna live its ur choice, do whatever u feel right for urself. Everybody should have a happy life. Thats the only life we can get. If u do it right one life is enough. One day I might change my mind then I cange my place. Simple, isnt it. Yea, the good things of being single. I can live for myself not for anybody else. So lets be what we r and do what we wanna do. Not what others expect us to do. Lets be happy!

notting hill.

Nyt sekasissa haikulifiiliksissä pakkaamaan ja huomenna se joku taas suuntaa Suomeen vaihteeksi. 

Ciao! x